The Most Depressing Post Ever

(So I'm über lovin the ironic juxtaposition of the title and photo.)

So sometimes the way to deal with crud is just to add more crud. Like in Divergent, to get past her fears, she has to make it worse, then it disappears. So lets try that tactic with my sadness, shall we?

Some Really Sad Stuff That's Happened

(In no particular order)

{THIS IS NOT MEANT TO MAKE ANYONE FEEL SORRY FOR ME. IT'S THERAPY!}

•On my nineteenth birthday I waited all day to hear from FTH (my boyfriend at the time). Not a word, text or anything, all day. Finally, my BFF, (taking pity on me) sends a text to remind him that it's my birthday, therefore he should...uh talk to me. So he finally does, and the events that followed were what caused my flashback a year later and triggered my panic disorder. Awesome.

•My first kiss was given to me by a boy who I thought liked me, but was actually kissing me to win a $30 bet.

•Getting on the plane from Boston to Pheonix. Well, the whole day actually. It was the single hardest thing I've ever had  to do.

•I can hardly remember anything from my first few weeks home. The meds completely jacked my memory.

•I washed a car today. Scrubbed with all my might, twice, and it still wasn't clean.

•The girl working the desk at the gym today wasn't nearly as friendly as the ones I usually see.

•One time, this human said they were gonna do something, then they didn't.

And last but not least....

•I'm really comfy on this bed of mine, but now I need to release the waters really bad. That means I have to move.

Huh. Strangely enough, I feel better now. Writing is so therapeutic!