Ordinary Miracles

When I was a munchkin in age and stature, I was in a singing group called Melody Makers. That year we sang a song with these words:

"You've gotta accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative and latch on to the affirmative, don't mess with Mr. In Beerrn."

They fried themselves into my brain and come back to haunt me when I'm in danger of having tunnel vision regarding all the crud I get to deal with.

So tonight, when I feel like I have a gazillions things to whine and worry about....we'll reminisce about good stuff.

A few weeks ago I had a little fling. First one in over six months. Though it only lasted a few days, I learned a lot. Two of which are:

•How important it is to protect yourself. Have some sort of guard up so that when broken heart time comes around, you at least have something left to work with.

•There are still some gentlemen on this earth. Guys who-when you have a panic attack whilst on a date with them-will rub your back to help you calm down, let you get yourself together and then make you laugh so it can be put behind you.

My last week on the mission can accurately be described as the hardest week of my entire life. Wednesday was especially disastrous. I returned home that day to find flowers on my doorstep. I cannot adequately express the hope that those beautiful flowers gave me. They gave me the strength I needed to make the hardest decision of my life and then to follow through with it. People who have charity can help provide miracles in the lives of others.

Two weeks ago when I got taken off my meds, I was a wreck. All day I just wanted to cry, desperate for a release. But the tears never came. That evening, the moment I walked into the home of two of my most favorite humans, I burst into tears that would put most babies to shame. My brain knew that I was in a safe zone. A place where I was loved and could be taken care of.

On my first evening back in AZ, back in May, I attended a ward party that was positively CRAWLING with missionaries. I'm talkin like 4 or 5 sets. I couldn't take it anymore and proceeded to walk home in tears. As I turn onto my street, a friend of mine just happened to be driving by, seemingly late for a family party. My enthusiasm at seeing her, completely absolved my need for tears. 

There are oh so many more stops we could make on a tour down Memory Lane, but I best be headed off to bed so as to be somewhat coherent mañana.

Don't forget to accentuate the positive.

You deserve it.