Self Esteem: A Dead Horse

So you go along thinking: I like myself. I'm happy with me. That whole self esteem thing, not one of the many issues I'm dealing with. Holla.

Then, one of your most trusted advisors gives you a speech about how your self esteem sucks, you don't see yourself clearly yadda yadda. 

So you spend the next few days trying to figure out how you really feel about you.

THEN you realize that the reason you sometimes overcompensate and are an insufferable diva is because you're so freakin insecure about the rest of you that    you use the one thing you're sure about to protect and cover up your insecurities.

Sucks to suck.

Tonight I was at the Distinguished Young Women pageant. Basically I was beat over the head by accomplished beautiful humans. So naturally, I started thinking: 

"I don't have a huge list of accomplishments, I tend to not finish what I started, I've never 'lived up to my potential.'"

But then Rain spoke up:

"That may be true, however, think about what you do have:

•A nephew who lights up whenever you enter the room.

•A nursery buddy who only stops crying if he's in your arms.

•A bishop who trusts and relies on you.

•The knowledge that your ability to talk about your issues, is helping other people with theirs.

Yes, self esteem comes from within, not without. However, being loved and needed, means more to me than being accomplished.

It's a place to start.