Dirty Hands and a Broken Heart

Today was a day of breakthroughs!!!!
Miss Kathy and I discovered one of the MAJOR triggers to my panic attacks.
Heartache. Pain.
When I start to hurt, I begin to panic so that I don't have to feel the hurt.
So the key is to wait out the pain.
Easier said than done.

Imagery is good stuff. It has some thing to do with something being triggered in your brain...I don't remember but suffice it to say, imagery is good news!
So Miss Kathy and I came up with some.

When I start to hurt I can visualize a bunch of hands on my heart.
Gross, warty, dirty, vindictive hands.
One is squeezing my heart, another is tearing it apart, and another is making holes in it.
Bad, dirty hands, HATE the light. SO....
I picture my heart lighting up, filling with warmth, it becomes bright yellow so that the hands have to drop it.

I can't put into words what a relief it was to figure out the madness. And now I have a defense. It doesn't mean I'm done panicking, but it means that there is hope.

And hope is very good news.