Find Your Angel

Once upon a time (tonight), I came home from babysitting, knowing that I had a lot to do so I can skip town tomorrow. I was already hanging from a thread because I'd forgotten to take my meds.

So I walk into my house. It's deserted, and a disaster. And I lose it. I cry louder and harder than any baby or toddler I've ever heard in my life. Just walking through my house trying to release the anguish and angst I'm feeling. 

Then I start praying, Heavenly Father, please send me an angel! I need help! So I get the feeling to go outside. Maybe someone will miraculously be standing there...no such luck. But then the thought occurs to me, "go to the neighbors and get a blessing." 

I knock on their door and am immediately ushered into the house. The father then wraps his arms around me while I cry myself out. His sweet wife brings me tissues, and we chat until I'm somewhat coherent again. Then this dear man, a former bishop in my church, proceeds to give me the most beautiful blessing. Filled with words of comfort and encouragement to rely on my Savior. 

I head home, and the waterworks begin again, but I have no time to feel sorry for myself. I walk through my house, getting things done and speaking aloud "You can do this. You can do hard things. Jut keep putting one foot in front of the other." Then I'd argue with myself:

Strong voice: you need to clean the house now.

Tearful voice: no, I can't!

Strong voice: yes you can! You can do hard things! 

Then I Realize how ridiculous I sound, so I look in the mirror and begin laughing through my tears at the complete lunacy. That's what the above picture is portraying.

Just in case you were wondering, I did get my act together and accomplished a lot. 

Moral of the story: sometimes we have to go looking for our own angels, then when we've received their help, we have to force ourselves to do hard things. 

Because we can.