Sometimes I feel trapped in my own brain. It'd be nice to step out of it. Just for a moment or two.
Everything makes me nervous.
Sometimes I feel like a zombie because I don't talk or acknowledge other people, I'm afraid I'll bite their head off. That's another horrid side effect: I'm extremely irritible these days.
On a more positive note: I filled my jar tonight! Let me explain:
Joey (my therapist from the mission) gave me this analogy one day. She showed me a jar with Popsicle sticks in it. The jar is me. The sticks are the things that make me, me! I have to fill up my jar. And be okay with what's in it, even though its not all peaches and cream. The important thing for me to remember is that no matter what anyone else says or does, it's my jar. My self esteem. I get to choose what goes in and what goes out.
I really needed to figure myself out today and this really helped! A few things that are written on the sticks in my jar:
I'd do anything for my family.
I adore music.
I love finding ways to release anger.
Pants are overrated.
These and many other things make me, me! So even though I feel anxious and panicky right now, my cup runneth over and my jar is full.
I love you nat and have been thinking about you quite often. You are wondering and amazing and we need to have lunch so I can tell you in person.
ReplyDeleteOn a related note, "Home is where the pants aren't."
ReplyDelete"Pants are overrated."
ReplyDeleteClassic.
Your family is lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteMusic is lucky to have your voice to make it sound beautiful.
Releasing anger is healthy and you're finding many ways to do it- brava!
You/your jar is filled with Truth, as you well know popping into my house and me never dressed fully. ;)