Do you ever feel
like you're having an identity crisis?
No?
Just me?
Okay, that's
fine.
One of my teachers
in the MTC once said,
"You never
know which version of Sister Lewis you're going to get."
That's bugged me
ever since he said it three years ago.
Especially because
I know that he had a point.
The struggle has
been really real with this lately.
There's this
Natalie:
I enjoy her.
Other peeps seem to enjoy her.
Then there's this Natalie:
(Ignore the hair if possible.)
I've been feeling like this a lot lately.
Especially in the morning.
Which is when most of my classes are.
So I feel like the Natalie I'm "presenting" to the world isn't the "real" me.
But I can't just shut this personality off whenever I feel like it.
But I have noticed that when I go over to chill with the peeps at the end of my day, I start out like Poo Poo Natalie. But after being with humans who bring out the best in me, I'm myself again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay to feel how you're feeling.
It's okay if you can't change those feelings right away.
That's a really hard thing to do.
Maybe you need help.
It's okay to need help.
If there's anything I know, it's that surrounding myself with beautiful, kind, understanding humans is a sure-fire way to guarantee that I am my beautiful, kind, understanding self.
And slowly but surely, I'll find other ways to be who I want to be all the time.
Until then, I'm just going to enjoy being me.
Period.
